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 Jebesh Chak Norisa

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PočaljiNaslov: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Sre Apr 09, 2008 9:55 pm

-Dule Vujošević može da dobije unapred izgubljenu utakmicu, sa 3. timom.


-Jedino je Dule Vujošević u stanju da od Vraneša napravi srpskoligaškog igrača.


-Kada Dule Vujošević uđe u halu, sudije odmah sviraju kraj, a delegat registruje meč službenim rezultatom 20:0 za Partizan.



-Dule Vujošević može i sa zvezdom da uzme titulu, al' ga zabole.


-Jedino Dule Vujošević ima više titula prvaka države od Uroša Tripkovića.


-Dule Vujošević je naučio Palasija da recituje Gorski vijenac na ijekavici. Napamet.


-Kada Dule Vujošević kupuje majice uvek uzima one kraće.


-Dule Vujošević je osvojio titulu sa Kostom Perovićem u timu.


-Kod Duleta Vujoševića je i Boris Bakić pogađao trojke.


-Dule Vujosevic moze da dobije tehnicku bez ulaska u halu.


-Supermen pogledom moze da osusi poplavu. Dule Vujosevic pogledom moze da sprzi igraca koji ga ne slusa. Naocare nosi da bi ublazile prirodno dejstvo pogleda.


-Dule Vujosevic je pojeo tri praseta.


-Zona koju postavi Dule Vujosevic je lepsa od Zone Zamfirove i jaca od Zone Sumraka.


-Dule Vujošević ne psuje. On vaspitno deluje na igrače.


-Konferencija za štampu Duleta Vujoševića je gledanija od Žikine šarenice.


-- Ne postoji knjiga koju Dule nije pročitao.



- Pisci na konferencijama za štampu prvo naglase da se Duletu sviđa njihova knjiga.



- Da je živ Ogist roden bi sklupturu ''Mislilac'' napravio prema Duletovoj pozi.



- Kod Duleta bi i plavuše naučile da igraju zonu.



- Kad bude upoznao Duleta i Čak Noris će početi da navija za Partizan. Onda će Gurović samog sebe da ''gepekuje''.



- Čak Noris do sada nije upoznao Duleta jer mu ne daju srpsku vizu. Vizu niije dobio jer u ambasadi nisu mogli da poveruju da ne poznaje Duleta.



- Dule je uspeo da nekoliko Amera nauči da igraju evropsku košarku.



- Goran Vesić će dobiti kavez u Duletovoj ulici u ZOO vrtu.



- Majkl Džordan je izjavio da bi bio duplo bolji igrač da mu je Dule bio trener.


-U ULEB pravilniku pise da Dule Vujosevic SME da se seta PO terenu.


-Dule Vujoshevic je doshao taxijem na bamberg.


Na pitanje hoce biti silovanja vecheras, Dule Vujoshevic je odgovorio "Biće!"
-Dule Vujosevic je nabio secer Goranu Vesicu.


-Dule Vujosevic je smenio kompletnu upravu petokrake i pokazao da se projekat "evropska zvezda" u stvari svodi na jedan osvojen domaci Kup prema kome je snimljen film "srcem do trofeja"
-Dule Vujosevic je naterao Ziku Pauka da se drzi parkinga...
-Dule Vujošević se uvjek slika sa Grobarima na ulici.



-Dule Vujošević je prvi put pobijedio crvenu zvezdu, 2 mjeseca prije nego što se rodio.



-Stoji mali uplakan na ulici, nailazi Supermen i pita ga šta mu je, ko ga je dirao. Mali kaže Čak Noris. Supermen je pobjegao i rekao, jebiga mali, ja ti ne mogu pomoći, ali zovi Dula Vujoševića.



-Cak Noris navija za zvezdu, jer mu je Dule Vujošević zabranio da navija za Partizan.


-Dule Vujosevic je procitao celu Wikipediju

-Jednom je Dule bio neraspolozen i nije osvojio kup.

O tome je kasnije snimljen film

-Dule je stariji od svog brata blizanca 10 godina.

Brat mu se zove Aleksandar Dzikic

-Dule Vujosevic ima vise titula nego kilograma

-Himna Evrolige Divoshn (Devotion) je u stvari prepev pesme Di.

Vujoshn
-Dule Vujosevic vs Zeljko Obradovic - profesor je nadmasio svog ucenika
-Uroš Tripković uživa dok mu Dule Vujoševic psuje familiju, jer zna da je to privilegija.


-Dule je bio čitalac godine u "Stubovima Kulture"
-Dule Vujosevic je jednom izgubio od taukeramike.

JEDNOM!
-Dule Vujosevic ne trazi tajm aut kad drugi misle da treba.


-Dule Vujosevic u lice govori sudijama, ono sto im Grobari psuju ispred televizora.


-Neki ljudi nose majcu SUPERMENA,a supermen majcu DULETA VUJOSEVICA
-Dule Vujosevic je najbolji kosarkas u KK Partizan...
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Sre Apr 09, 2008 10:35 pm

Ahahah Rale ti si lud!
Kad smo ves kod Norisa znam i ja neke izvale.
Znate li da Chak Noris moze da zapushi wc sholju cak i kad pisha.
Znate li da je Chak Noris jednom ubio dva kamena jednom pticom.
Jbg nemogu da se setim vishe ali cim se setim ima da napisem ovde.


Poslednji izmenio Dule 91 dana Pet Maj 16, 2008 1:32 pm, izmenjeno ukupno 1 puta
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Sre Apr 09, 2008 10:59 pm

Do jaja izvale Rale...
Evo za Norisa:
- Takmicio se Chuck Noris sa ogledalom ko ce kasnije da trepne i Chuck pobedio.
- Chuck Noris je igrao Ruski rulet sa punim pistoljem i preziveo.
- Bog se zove Bog zato sto je ime Chuck Noris vec bilo zauzeto.
- Bog je svet stvarao 6 dana a Chuck mu je dao 3.
Ni ja ne znam dalje jbg
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Čet Apr 10, 2008 11:10 pm

Isus hoda po vodi, a
Spojler:
 

_________________
When shadow comes, to claim our souls,
Some must rise, the light of old,
Names in stone, spirits of legend,
Deeds unknown, yet never forgotten,
These are the Duranin!
Of honor within, and of fear witout
Remmember them... When in hope you doubt.
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Apr 11, 2008 8:31 pm

Cak Noris moze da uhvati 150 pokemona za dva minuta.
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 16, 2008 1:33 am

Bata Zivojinovic je sa jugom 45 osvojio Formulu 1.



Sta Chuck Norris radi u Srbiji? Sklekove.Pod nadzorom Bate Zivojinovica.



Bati Zivojinovicu su svirali i pevali Betoven i Sopen kad je bio mali.



Bata Zivojinovic je bio pilot oba aviona koja su se zakucala u World trade center 11. septembra.



Bata Zivojinovic ume da napravi kolac u tiganju.



Jednom se Bata Zivojinovic setao ulicom. Onda je video Chuck Norrisa kako divlja.

Bata mu je prisao i uhvatio za uvo i izdrao se na njega: JEL' SAM TE TAKO VASPITAO, A!?

Bata Zivojinovic ima vrbu na kojoj radja grozdje.



Bog je ljudima omogucio kupovinu iz fotelje. Bati Zivojinovicu je omogucio ubijanje Nemaca iz fotelje.



Bata Zivojinovic moze da napravi sutku na jazz koncertu.



Bata Zivojinovic je kao Valter odbranio Sarajevo jednom rukom... Drugom je drzao most na Miljacki da raja moze da se vrati kuci.



Bata Zivojinovic moze da isprzi kajganu pogledom.



Bata Zivojinovic je bio u gasnoj komori, cevi sa plinom su izdrzale 20 minuta.



Bata Zivojinovic je otac nemacke nacije. Svima im je j***o kevu.



U Nemackoj su podigli spomenik Bati Zivojinovicu, da Bata slucajno ne bi pomislio da su mu zamerili sto ih je toliko pobio.



Kada bi to pomislio, Nemacka bi se opet raspala na istocnu i zapadnu, ali ovaj put fizicki.



Bata Zivojinovic je ubio 100 Nemaca jednim metkom, i to corkom.



Kad Bati Zivojinovicu nestane municije u mitraljezu Nemci nastave da padaju mrtvi. Boje se da mu ne pokvare zabavu, posto tek onda nastaje picvajz.



Chuck Norris nije priznao nezavisnost Kosova jer zna da u Srbiji zivi Bata Zivojinovic.



Bata Zivojinovic moze da nacrta trougao sestarom.



Postoje samo 4 jahaca apokalipse. Bata Zivojinovic voli da pesaci.



Bata Zivojinovic ne obara ruke.

On ih lomi!

Bata Zivojinovic moze da napravi musku i zensku spagu. U isto vreme.



Kad je Chuck Norris sutnuo konja u bradu nastala je zirafa. Kada je Bata Zivojinovic sutnuo konja u bradu nastao je pegaz.



Bata Zivojinovic je odbio ulogu u prvom filmu o Dzejms Bondu pod izgovorom da je lik koga bi trebalo da tumaci isuvise isfeminiziran.



Bati Zivojinovicu se i lezeci policajci sklanjaju sa puta.



Bata Zivojinovic je najpopularniji svetski glumac, osim nekoliko miliona Srba obozava ga i cela milijarda Kineza.



Svabe je jednom sjebao, a da je malo mladji ni Ameri se ne bi toliko kurcili.



Chuck Norris moze da digne planinu. Bata Zivojinovic moze da digne Chucka Norrisa... zajedno sa planinom.



Bata Zivojinovic je poceo da glumi kad su PRESTALI sa pravljenjem partizanskih filmova. Do tada je samo odrzavao svoju prirodnu kvotu od sto mrtvih Nemaca na dan.



Bata Zivojinovic moze da iscedi suvu drenovinu iz Kraljevica Marka.



Bata Zivojinovic ume da pimpuje sa tri lopte odjednom.



Chuck Norris moze da zalupi rotirajuca vrata. Bata Zivojinovic moze da zalupi Chuck Norrisa o rotirajuca vrata.



Chuck Norris pretrci 100m za 9 sekundi. Bata Zivojinovic predje 100m iz troskoka bez zatrcavanja.



Bata Zivojinovic ume da se gadja tramvajima.



Bog na nebu, Bata Zivojinovic na zemlji.



Kapitalizam se razvija u ovoj zemlji samo zato sto Bati Zivojinovicu jos niko nije rekao da je komunizam ukinut. Niko nije skupio hrabrost.



Bata Zivojinovic je znao kako ce se zavrsiti "Odiseja u svemiru 2001" jos u prvoj sceni, i skroz je skapirao kraj.



Jedini razlog zasto Chuck Norris nije pobio sve ljude na Zemlji je taj sto slusa naredjenja od Bate Zivojinovica.



Bata Zivojinovic drzi Velikog brata na oku.



Bata Zivojinovic je glumio u filmu Carobnjak iz Oza.



Glumio je uragan koji je odneo kucu Doroti Gej
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 16, 2008 10:46 am

Neverovatno dobra stvar navijač

_________________
When shadow comes, to claim our souls,
Some must rise, the light of old,
Names in stone, spirits of legend,
Deeds unknown, yet never forgotten,
These are the Duranin!
Of honor within, and of fear witout
Remmember them... When in hope you doubt.
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 16, 2008 5:07 pm

Ovo je bolje od Duleta Vujosevica lol!

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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 16, 2008 11:58 pm

Evil Bure ::
Ovo je bolje od Duleta Vujosevica lol!
Mozda i jeste ali ja sam cuo da ce Dule Vujosevic da formira vladu a onda i bata zivojinovic i cak noris mogu da se jebu

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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Sub Maj 17, 2008 1:18 pm

makar3nK0 ::
Evil Bure ::
Ovo je bolje od Duleta Vujosevica lol!
Mozda i jeste ali ja sam cuo da ce Dule Vujosevic da formira vladu a onda i bata zivojinovic i cak noris mogu da se jebu
Duska Vujosevica za predsednika!!!!!
Basketball Basketball Basketball Basketball
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 30, 2008 2:13 am

Idite na Google.com, ukucajte "Chuck Norris google" i stisnite "I'm feeling lucky" dugme... smejanje
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 30, 2008 9:40 am

Hahhaahhaha ovo nisam ocekivao smejanje

_________________
When shadow comes, to claim our souls,
Some must rise, the light of old,
Names in stone, spirits of legend,
Deeds unknown, yet never forgotten,
These are the Duranin!
Of honor within, and of fear witout
Remmember them... When in hope you doubt.
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 30, 2008 11:09 am

Auuu boze nemogu da verujem Shocked lol! lol! !!
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pet Maj 30, 2008 11:26 am

Nevera lol!!!
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Sub Jun 14, 2008 11:07 pm

Srpsko-bosanski recnik:

Ananas - Mašala šišarka
Betmen - Hairli šišmiš
Balerina - Zvrk hanuma
Semafor - Šeitan lampa
Smrtovnica - Rahmetli poster
Groblje - Rahmetluk parking
Grejpfrut - Mašala limun
Super baka - Šeitan nana
Policajac - Pendrek efendija
Specijalac - Mašala pendrek efendija
Ekspres Restoran - Ašcinica na vrat na nos
Picerija - Mindžin Han
Košarkaš - Basket balija
Košarkasko igralište - Basket avlija
Peder - Šupak meraklija
Šiljalo - Plajvaz sunetlija
Tenk - Belaj bager
Revolver - Bubanj kubura
Humanitarna pomoc - Hair sevap
Picajzla - Ašik baja
Kinder jaje - Ašik mudo
Kišni covek - Kijamet insan
Veterinar - Hajvan hecim
Pokretne stepenice - Samopiceci basamaci



Srpsko-hrvatski re?nik:

Bicikl - Medjunožno guralo sa dva napuhala
Motorcikl - Dvokotacno medjunožno prdekalo sa dvostrukim guzoodmaralom
Bilijar - Zelenocohano cetveronožno štapitalo
Kravata - Okolovratni dopupnik
Kaiš - Okolotrbušni pantalodržac
Šah - Mozgodrkajuce rukoticalo
Sintsajzer - Milozvucno prostodirkalo
Kocijaš - Visokosjedeci konju u guzicu gledajuci gospodin
Svinja - cetvoronožno blatobrckalo
Ovca - cetveronožno runjavo travopojedalo
cobanin - Nadzornik cetveronožnih runjavih travopojedala
Kaubojke - Westernice
Usedelica - Mukotrpna kurcocekalica
Telefon - Brzoglas
Oluk - Okoloku?no vodopišalo
Direktor - Nalogodavni bezosjecajnik
Generalni direktor - Stožerni nalogodavni bezosje?ajnik
Helikopter - Zrakomlat



Srpsko-engleski recnik:

Momci iz kraja - Boys from the end
Taman posla - Dark of the job
Mesna Zajednica - Meat community
Stavili su mu lisice - They put him foxes
Opasulji se - Bean yourself
Raskupusana Knjiga - Cabbaged book
Puno sam se sekirao - I axed myself very much
Kama sutra - Big knife tomorrow
Racunaj na meme - Calculate on me
Radio Mileva - Worked Melissa
cekanje u redu za hljeb - Waiting all right for bread
Ko umije njemu dvije - Who washes, him two
Ne lezi vraže - Don't lay devil
Hej žica, žica, žica, drma mi se kabanica - Hey, wire, wire, wire, my raincoat is shaking
Šta ima - What has
Dva loša ubiše Miloša - Two bad Michel dead
Kom obojci, kom opanci - To whom feet wrappers, to whom serbian peasant shoes
Drage volje - Of dear will
Ko te šljivi - Who plums you
Ko te šiša - Who cuts your hair
Zašto da ne - Why yes not
Kako da ne - How yes not



Srpsko-makedonski recnik:

Puška - Puškata
Mitraljez - Puškatatatatatatatata
Šok soba - Sobata na kukulele
Porodilište - Sobata na kur?eva rabota
Oluk - Okokucnoto popiškalo
Grupni seks - Mamos i tatos s komšiluk na patos
Kola hitne pomoc?i - Vozilo na tinu ninu
Bestrzajni top - Top?e ni da mrdne
Peva momce na prozoru - Poje bate na pendžerot
Abortus - Sabotažata na kurceva rabota
Bal Vampira - Žurkata na akrepi
Jednooki Džek - djoko bez oko



Srpsko-madjarski recnik:

Ivo Lola Ribar - Ištvan Becar Pecaroš
Pas - Lajoš
Policijska stanica - Pendrek varoš
Pcela - Beremed
Trut - Jebe ne bere med
Silovanje - Jebeš ne pitaš



Srpsko-japanski recnik:

Hiperinflacija - Tošiba koludo
Lopov - Digomilako sako
Nevina devojka - Nikotako



Srpsko-španski recnik:

Mini suknja - Domindžos
Abortus - Adios embrios



Srpsko-kineski recnik:

Veliki penis - Min-džin-san



Srpsko-nemacki recnik:

Makro - Curbrigen



Srpsko-ruski recnik:

Grupni seks - Kolektivna raspaljotka
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 2:21 am

Chuck Norris pali Yuga iz prve.
Chuck Norris je pobegao od svoje senke. Smile
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PočaljiNaslov: ha ha   Pon Jun 30, 2008 9:40 am

Bravo konane....
Chuck noris pije kafu sa biberom
Chuck noris nije uspeo da me prebije...
Chuck noris je bolji i od zezime i yogosun-a(e ste li znali da je yogosun iz srbije?)
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 11:09 am

~Dzingis Kan~ ::

Chuck noris je bolji i od zezime i yogosun-a(e ste li znali da je yogosun iz srbije?)
Nismo ali Chuck Norris jeste...
Razz
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 1:13 pm

BorisKnoT ::
~Dzingis Kan~ ::

Chuck noris je bolji i od zezime i yogosun-a(e ste li znali da je yogosun iz srbije?)
Nismo ali Chuck Norris jeste...
Razz
AHAHHAH
Mrzelo me da kucam pa citajte na engl. Very Happy :Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word "hunting" infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positives!
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Guns kill 12 people a day. chuck noris kills 20.
Chuck Norris does not have a religion. The gods worship Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate 4 turtles whole. When he crapped them out, they all knew karate, and they are now known as The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only few seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuckroundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
When Chuck jumps in to the water, Chuck doesn't wet, the water Chuck's.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For ChuckNorris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until ChuckNorris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer.
It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from ChuckNorris."
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but ChuckNorris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for ChuckNorris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
Chuck Norris invented the internet? Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by ChuckNorris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. ChuckNorris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about ChuckNorris.
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark.
The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
Chuck Norris makes onions CRY!
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 1:44 pm

Chuck Norris je izuo Cipelitje Very Happy .
Chuck Norris je sagradio kucu u kojoj je rodjen.
Chuck Norris je skinuo nevinost pre svog caleta Very Happy .
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 2:35 pm

Svaki je do jaja. Bravo Dule! cheers
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 4:25 pm

Chuck Norris ne jede med,on sisa pcele Very Happy .
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 5:07 pm

Dule 91 ::
Chuck Norris ne jede med,on sisa pcele Very Happy .

Rolling Eyes Svi oni preko su izzuzetno dobri, ali ovaj je sranje eksplozija

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Names in stone, spirits of legend,
Deeds unknown, yet never forgotten,
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Of honor within, and of fear witout
Remmember them... When in hope you doubt.
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 5:49 pm

DA stvarno.Chuck Noriss ce nas prebiti zbog naslova teme
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PočaljiNaslov: Re: Jebesh Chak Norisa   Pon Jun 30, 2008 7:59 pm

Jbg Andrej ja pisem sve sto cujem ili nadjem bilo to smesno ili ne.
A sto se tice Milutinovog posta:Samo je pitanje kada Very Happy .
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